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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25850698">that promise on your lips (show me)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/blankcamellia/pseuds/blankcamellia'>blankcamellia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SixTONES (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Awkward Dates, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Rating might go up, Slow Burn, Smoking, Tension</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:49:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,168</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25850698</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/blankcamellia/pseuds/blankcamellia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts with doubt. Is Kyomoto Taiga really as the rumors say? <br/>It turns into a challenge. He'll show everyone who Kyomoto Taiga really is. </p>
<p>Little does he know that it'll come with a price.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kyomoto Taiga/Matsumura Hokuto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. through your lies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I've had this story plotted in my drafts ever since I started writing KyomoHokku, and I figured it's time for me to finally post it. I'm not sure how many chapters it'll be but it'll be done, for sure! That's something I'm very sure of. I just need to word vomit a bit in-between my plot notes lol</p>
<p>Anyways, here's another University AU you probably don't want but will get anyway.</p>
<p>Enjoy some notes:<br/><i>Taiga is a music major <br/>Hokuto is a business administration major<br/>Hokuto keeping his friend circle at uni at “classmates” only<br/>Taiga known for getting around - true or not? who knows, it's up to Hokuto to figure out<br/>Taiga is a rich kid LOL duh</i></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I wouldn't say no to a night with him, to be honest.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hokuto looks up from his cluttered notes, trying to refocus his eyes. He hasn't been actively listening to what they've been discussing, too focused on the actual task called studying. He raises his eyebrows as his other classmate speaks up too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you even saying man?! You're not even swinging that way!” There's a small chuckle at the end of his sentence and Hokuto frowns slightly, he's not quite in the mood to discuss sexualities, let alone a stranger's. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His classmates, Kuroki and Nao, aren't the brightest peas in the pod, but they make do. It's nice to try to socialize sometimes. This, however, seems like it's going to be a pretty useless conversation. They're hopeless gossips after all. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh fuck you! I'm just saying it, you can't deny he's like, insanely gorgeous for a guy!” Kuroki says with wide gesticulation. He groans as Nao laughs at him but there's no denial. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who are you even talking about?” Hokuto pipes up between Nao's laughter and Kuroki's miserable whines. He's pretty sure he can't voice his own opinion on the matter unless he actually knows who they're talking about. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kyomoto Taiga, from the musical department! You know, blond hair, pale skin, and a jawline that could cut cheese?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks for the wonderful description Kuroki, I appreciate it,” Hokuto chides as he pulls his glasses off, rubbing his eyes. “So, what's the big deal? You're in love or something?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It's supposed to come off casual and joking but Kuroki doesn't quite get it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No way man, one night maybe, but getting real with him? Ain't gonna happen,” Kuroki laughs as he speaks, in the same way he always does when things are just a game. Hokuto is glad he's not actively hanging around the two of them. It would have been too much game for his tastes. “There are rumors going around that he got someone new every week? Knowing that like, the majority of the campus has gone to bed with him really turns me off.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you even know if that's true?” A frown appears on Hokuto’s face as he asks, genuinely interested now, leaning his chin on his hand because it really sounds like a rumor you don't want on your back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who knows man, he's not really on our list anyway but what is it to you if it is?” Nao doesn't seem to put much thought into the matter, spinning one pen, and Hokuto can't really find a good answer either.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess… it doesn't really have to do with me at all,” He shrugs, but his mind is whirling. All he can think of when he looks back on his notes is how Kyomoto would react if he knew about the rumors. Or maybe he already knows. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It takes him a week, a week filled with Kyomoto being on his mind constantly. Small things like “Would Kyomoto like this?”, “Is this something for Kyomoto?" and all things around him seemed to be connected to Kyomoto. He doesn't even know Kyomoto. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A soft, melodic voice fills the air as he walks down the hallway of the campus. He turns his head around to locate the source of the voice, intrigued by the way it wraps around the words he can't hear. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The door to the drama club's rehearsal room is adjacent and he can see the faint, yellow light seep through. Shuffling closer, he notices how the voice gets clearer, and when he pushes the door open, he sees Kyomoto sitting there with his guitar. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The light from the lone floor lamp only illuminates the scattered pieces of score sheets, casting shadows over Kyomoto's body. Hokuto holds his breath as he watches Kyomoto's fingers dance over the strings and the way the blond hair obstructs his face. It almost seems magical, watching him like this, wanting time to stop. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That's beautiful,” His voice breaks the silence after the last note disappears and Hokuto just watches as Kyomoto flips around, eyes wide in surprise before he blinks owlishly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There's a slight horror in his voice, volume barely higher than a whisper but not quite a hiss. Hokuto sees how he draws back, trying to put a distance between them without moving from the chair. The grip on the guitar also visibly tightens. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kyomoto Taiga, am I correct?” He takes a small step inside the room, looking around, but he knows Kyomoto's eyes are on him. As he walks closer and finally lays his full attention on Kyomoto, he gets a bit nervous.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kyomoto is indeed gorgeous like no other, and Kuroki wasn't kidding with his description. As he looks closer, he can see the shape of Kyomoto's eyes, looking so round and innocent. Something he's never actually noticed before. Not that he's actually noticed </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> about Kyomoto before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kyomoto nods slowly in response, his whole body stiff in defense as he watches Hokuto venture deeper into the room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hums as he traces his fingers over the tables positioned by the walls, wondering how many times a week Kyomoto spends here. Here, in this particular room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Do you have any business here, or?" Kyomoto asks, words straight to the point and the way his hard grip on his guitar doesn't go unhidden from Hokuto. It’s kind of adorable actually, and he briefly wonders if he’s developed some kind of dominant kink or something because the way Taiga seems to turn himself so small in his presence is weirdly attractive. He looks him straight in the eyes as he opens his mouth, words spilling out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are the rumors true, that you keep switching partners every week?” His heart skips a beat when he asks, not because he's ashamed of asking, but because he's afraid of the truth. Even if he doesn’t quite know what he’ll do with the answer anyway, he’s just curious. At least that’s what he’s telling himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He might be afraid that the Kyomoto he's seeing right now might just be a facade, a bait, and the Kyomoto in the rumors is the real one. He hopes though, that it isn't the truth. This Kyomoto got to be the real one. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What if I do?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kyomoto's answer is forward and defensive, and it's all it takes for Hokuto to feel a wave of relief. The way Kyomoto leans back and away from him, in an attempt to look casual about it, tells him how he doesn't want him to pry further.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He takes a seat on the table beside Kyomoto and just stares at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The way Kyomoto holds his guitar, how his hands and fingers look absolutely stunning despite the countless hours on the guitar, and how the hint of sweat covers his skin, makes Hokuto feel warm inside. Almost scared of himself. There's an attraction to Kyomoto that he doesn't know what to do with. How to describe or even how to handle it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you interested? I might consider you,” Kyomoto smirks as he leans his chin on one hand on the table where Hokuto is sitting, and his eyes gleam, and it sends shudders through Hokuto's whole body. He hopes it isn't too obvious, as he just chuckles in response, way too afraid to say any proper words, because he knows it'll only be a positive reply. He’d say yes to Kyomoto Taiga.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You wouldn't be able to take it anyway,” Kyomoto continues with a snort without him even giving him a proper reply. There's something in the way Kyomoto speaks that triggers his competitiveness, and he has to hold himself back from challenging Kyomoto, so he stares at him instead, watching how Kyomoto turns his eyes away from him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You suck at lying, do you know that?” He leans in, placing one hand on the surface beside Kyomoto, half trapping him, face barely an inch from the other’s, and as he continues, he can see how they widen in shock, in fear. “The rumors are fake, right?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kyomoto draws a breath before backing away, away from Hokuto. In his eyes now, is doubt or anger. A much more fitting emotion for Kyomoto, if Hokuto could choose himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What is it to you if they are or not?” Kyomoto's voice is sharp and louder than before. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hokuto looks straight at him before closing the gap between them, trapping the other between the table and him. Kyomoto doesn't even flinch, and it only makes it harder to resist pushing the limits. How far can he go before the other snaps? How far would Kyomoto allow him to pry? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t particularly care about the rumors if I’m being honest,” he admits, and it’s true. Rumors be damned, he just wants to get to know Kyomoto more. There’s something about the older that is so damn attractive, and he can’t help but be attracted to him. Be drawn to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, you better stay away from me or you'll be another on the list they'll bother,” The hint of hurt and worry in Kyomoto's voice catches his attention, and he finally understands why Kyomoto is always alone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kyomoto is fine on his own, putting a distance from others to prevent them from getting hurt. Kyomoto knows all about the rumors (true or not), and he probably has had his share of people getting hurt from them. He takes a breath before he opens his mouth again, unable to stop his own thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I'll show them who you really are,” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The response he gets is immediate and Kyomoto seethes, turning to him so sharply his hair flies around his face, and his eyes turn sharp and narrow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can fucking take care of myself, thank you very much, Matsumura,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hokuto is halfway out of the room when he replies, looking over his shoulder and hand resting on the doorframe as he locks eyes with Kyomoto. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mark my words, I'll show you too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Try me.” Kyomoto's words fall deaf on his ears because he's set on making everyone see Kyomoto in a new light. Gone will the old, rumored Kyomoto be, and the new will be without any bad rumors and his talent will shine. Not that Hokuto has any idea where to start but he guess befriending Kyomoto is step one - however you do that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn't realize until later that Kyomoto had said his name. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. it could be anyone, but i choose you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hokuto gets to know Taiga a bit better, and somewhere along the way, he starts to regret the promise he first made.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>....I... wasn't supposed to write this yet but the muse said to write, so I wrote.<br/>It's almost double the length of the first chapter, and we're back at Hokuto pining without knowing.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A few days later, he turns the invitation down to hang out with Nao and Kuroki after classes are over, giving them a short apology that he already has some stuff planned. His classmates only shrug at it, too used to Hokuto turning them down than actually accepting their invitations. Hokuto’s thankful they still ask him though, even though they all know he rather not go out - at least not the kind of going out that they prefer. It makes him feel included, even if it’s just for a bit. This time, however, he actually got plans. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He heads over to the building next to his, where he knows the music majors always have their last lectures, and no, he’s not keeping track of their schedules, he just happens to know that by accident. Totally not because he’s waiting for Kyomoto.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he sees Kyomoto exit the lecture hall, blond hair pulled into a half-ponytail, and face buried in his phone, he pushes himself off the wall he’s been leaning against, ready to walk up to the other. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Someone calls Kyomoto’s name, and Hokuto stops for a second, not wanting to intrude. Kyomoto looks up at the person who called him, some tall guy Hokuto doesn’t recognize and has never seen, and it’s how he notices the big glasses sitting on Kyomoto’s nose, and Hokuto’s heart skips a beat on its own. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can barely hear them from where he’s standing and he knows that Kyomoto hasn’t seen him either, but he clenches his hand into a fist as he sees Kyomoto’s face turn into a scowl. He slowly takes another step forward as Kyomoto is visibly upset over whatever the other is saying. He’s almost there when Kyomoto turns away to dash off but the other grabs a hold of him, pulling him back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span>’ do you not get? Are you stupid?” Kyomoto hisses as he tries to yank his arm free from the other.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on, you said </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes</span>
  </em>
  <span> last time, don’t be such a spoilsport,” The taller guy chuckle as he pulls on Kyomoto a bit tighter, and it really, really doesn’t make Hokuto happy to see. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I told you—“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, I’m late,” Hokuto interrupts, placing his hand over the other on Kyomoto’s arm, giving his best apologetic smile as he stands up straight between them and looks at the guy - he’s nothing special, just another fish in the sea, and Hokuto doesn’t know what kind of connection he and Kyomoto have but right now, it doesn’t look like it’s a good one. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kyomoto, on the other hand, is glaring at him, and it makes it all just even more believable. Poor Kyomoto having to wait for this stupid younger guy who can’t show up on time, yeah, he has all the right to glare at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you mind?” he says as he gently pats the hand on Kyomoto, a soft warning that he hopes the other gets. He rather not cause a bigger ruckus than this, but if he has to, he will. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The other guy clicks his tongue as he takes his hand off Kyomoto, mutters something neither of them can hear as he walks away, and Hokuto stares at him for another good two seconds before he turns to Kyomoto, placing his own hand there instead, gentle and guiding. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s go,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Surprisingly, Kyomoto doesn’t fight it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When they’re in the next corridor over, away from any onlookers, Hokuto lets go of Kyomoto, who only looks away sullenly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not going to ask what that was about but a thank you would be nice?” he says offhandedly, trying to make light of the situation but it only causes Kyomoto to turn away more and scoff. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you here even?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was waiting for you,” he admits, watching how Kyomoto slowly paces in circles in front of him, despite having all the opportunities to leave him. It makes him smile a bit because Kyomoto is acting like he’s such a tough guy but he’s really not. Not in front of Hokuto at least. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For me?” Then, there’s the shocking expression all over his face again, almost as if he didn’t expect </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> to say that. No, as if he didn’t expect him to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>that.</span>
  </em>
  <span> And he stops in his pacing to look at Hokuto, arms still crossed but his eyes behind his glasses betray him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wanted to talk,” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Talk?” Kyomoto raises an eyebrow at him, expression doubting and voice bordering on a chuckle. “You?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now it’s his turn to raise his eyebrows and stare at Kyomoto. “Is that a problem, Kyomoto?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You want to talk,” Kyomoto repeats, jumping up on the nearby windowsill to sit on. “I didn’t take you for a person who would want to talk Matsumura.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There it is again. His name.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I never introduced myself,” he says slowly as he tries to read Kyomoto’s face as it slowly turns into a slight pinkish hue. Embarrassment. Cute. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Matsumura Hokuto, the only business administration major in your year that hasn’t been to the weekly weekend parties at the community center,” Kyomoto says, fiddling with the hem of his shirt, eyes wandering outside of the window. “You’re quite the story at the parties.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hokuto tilts his head at that, it’s the first time he’s heard about this, not even Nao or Kuroki have mentioned anything about it and they’re hopeless gossipers, but it explains why Kyomoto knows who he is, he guesses, maybe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Parties aren’t really my thing,” he says and it catches Kyomoto’s attention, making the older turn his head slightly toward him. “I prefer to stay at home.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hears Kyomoto hum, shifting his body so he can pull one leg up and lean onto it as he stares at Hokuto. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Say, Matsumura,” Kyomoto begins with a small smile and a voice soft like the spring rain and newly washed sheets, and Hokuto thinks he might be in love already. “Do you like music?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Of course, he likes music. He would probably have majored in music if he didn’t get into business administration or something along with theatrical arts and performing. So, that’s why he didn’t hesitate when he replied to Kyomoto. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That’s why he’s standing in the very back of a crowded bar at 9 p.m. when he should be home in his rundown apartment and read the last chapter of his coursebook that he actually finished last week but lately, he’s been doing everything backward. The fact that Kyomoto smiled at him didn’t help either. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It didn’t help that the other willingly ran up to him every other day until today to make sure he was still coming. It didn’t help that Hokuto also went out of his way to tell him that he’ll be coming whenever he had the chance, be it during breaks or between classes or lectures, or even if it meant waiting for the other after the last period.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He spins the little straw in his drink around, half considering running away before anyone notices him here because he feels so out of place. It feels weirdly hot in his floral printed jacket, almost considering taking it off, but the combination of his black polo shirt and striped dress shirt didn’t sound appealing enough on its own, so he guesses he’ll suffer. At least until the show is over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The lights go out as he brings his drink up to sip on it, and the crowd stills, and start to murmur. It’s happening soon. He almost chokes on his drink when he sees Kyomoto walk up on the stage in the plainest, white T-shirt he’s ever seen, and it’s definitely five sizes too big, and while a part of him thinks it’s absolutely adorable, another part of him is horrified. A plain. White. T-shirt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He downs the drink as fast as he can, throws the plastic cup in the nearest trash bin before he takes a deep breath. Easy thoughts. Calm breaths. It’s just Kyomoto. Which is part of the problem, it’s Kyomoto. Who should be shining brighter than anyone while standing on that stage, and definitely not dressed like he just woke up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t want to admit that it makes his cheeks flush and heat up at the thought of Kyomoto waking up, and if he looked like this, whoever he woke beside was damn lucky. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kyomoto, you better have a good reason why you look like this,” he mutters under his breath as the source of his frustration looks out on the crowd, blond hair covering half of his face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The first chords ring in the air as Kyomoto strums on the guitar in his hold, and he starts slow, mellow ballad, and it tugs on his heart as he listens to Kyomoto sing his heart out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There’s a different shine in his eyes when he’s on stage, and it’s not only because of the slight makeup he’s wearing - Hokuto wishes it was because of that because then he’d know the reason but it’s not all. He gets drawn into Kyomoto’s eyes, the deep sea of brown that sings about love, pining, lost relationships, hope, friendship, and everything in the world that never had made sense to Hokuto. He sees how Kyomoto’s lips form words but he doesn’t listen, too focused on how absolutely breathtaking the older is, and he’s simply standing on stage in the lamest outfit ever but Hokuto has never felt more attracted to anyone ever. It tugs at his heart, opening it like never before and he feels like he’s soaring, ready to depart toward the sun.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Every word that Kyomoto sings of, Hokuto believes. He suddenly believes in the things fairytale books only told, that only romance movies portrayed and that only people except him experienced. He feels stupid for even feeling like this, he barely knows Kyomoto but there was something about him, that day when they met, that convinced him that he wasn’t what everyone said he was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The more he stares, the more he’s sure that he’s right, and the less he actually wants to prove everyone wrong.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This Kyomoto Taiga shouldn’t be seen by everyone. It should only belong to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The wave of possessiveness that washes over him surprises him as well, and he brings a hand up to cover his burning face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the hell.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The next time he sees Kyomoto is when the latter runs up to him after he’s finished a lunch lecture, and it surprises him because he hasn’t heard from him since that night at the bar, and it’s been a few days since then.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had blurted out his utter distaste for Kyomoto’s fashion on stage, and the latter hadn’t even blinked at him, not even argued. He had just looked at his shirt, told Hokuto that it was his best one, and if it’s such a bother, Hokuto should help him next time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Their relationship, or whatever they should call it, is spiraling out of hand quicker than Hokuto can say ‘smorgasbord’,  and he’s not sure how to handle it. He’s come to terms, especially late at night, that Kyomoto is fascinating, gorgeous, and incredibly talented. He also got a nice laugh, adorable snorts, and a stunning stage prescence. But most of all, he’s easy-going, he’s hardworking, and he’s honest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At least, that’s what Hokuto sees in him, and he’s also started to like the way his heart flutters whenever he sees Kyomoto on campus. He might consider himself a bit lovesick, but only slightly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Matsumura,” Kyomoto starts, eyes bright, and skin slightly flushed, and Hokuto wonders if the other actually ran here from his side of the campus. It’s adorable nonetheless, and he’s definitely not looking at the way a drop of sweat falls rolls down his cheeks and over his jawline. Definitely not. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kyomoto?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The way Kyomoto says his name doesn’t make his heart burst though, quite the opposite. He feels rather distant but it can’t be helped. They barely know each other, and Hokuto can’t suddenly demand (ask) to call the other by his given name. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re going shopping with me today.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right now?” Hokuto asks but doesn’t get to say much more before he’s getting pulled by the end of his sleeves by Kyomoto, hurrying off the campus and away from everyone’s staring eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He already knows what they all are thinking. That he’s Kyomoto’s new thing. Poor him, he’s going to be dumped soon too. What’s his number in the line?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Those thoughts are thrown out of his mind when they get off campus, slowing down but Kyomoto doesn’t let go of his sleeve. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kyomoto—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, first off,” Kyomoto turns around abruptly, hair flying around his face, still not letting go of his sleeve, and stares directly into Hokuto’s eyes. “Can you stop it with the ‘Kyomoto’? It’s getting on my nerves.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What else should I call you—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just call me Taiga,” Hokuto looks at him and he sees some kind of vulnerability in Kyomoto— no, Taiga, for the first time that hasn’t seen before. He’s always known Taiga has been putting up tough fronts but this is the first time he sees his with his walls down like this. It’s almost like he’s stepping into unknown territory. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Only if you call me Hokuto,” he says back, not quite sure what his goal with it really is, he just wants to hear Taiga say his name. That’s all. He swears that’s all. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taiga blinks, looking away from him, almost as if he’s contemplating the deal, then he smiles softly, and it causes Hokuto’s heart to burst once again, and he’s definitely so screwed before he looks at Hokuto directly again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“ Hokuto.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Taiga.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Saying his name out loud for the first time is awkward and borderline embarrassing but it has such a nice ring to it that he can’t help but feel all giddy and happy. He hopes it doesn’t show on his face though, even if he can feel it burning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, you wanted to go and shop?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When Taiga said “shop”, he didn’t think he’d be walking down the expensive streets of the city, high-end brands and luxury names in every corner, and shining logos everywhere he looks. He almost feels out of place, or at least, his wallet does because he can’t even think that he can even buy a dust ball from any of the stores around him with his current economy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taiga, on the other hand, looks like he’s running through his backyard, and if his memory doesn’t serve him wrong, Taiga is from a wealthy family. It makes sense, kinda. Taiga doesn’t have the aura of a rich kid but he also doesn’t have the same feeling that he gets from his fellow classmates. He supposes that Taiga is special even in this situation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They walk through store after store, Hokuto obediently following Taiga into whatever store he wants, not saying much because he’s still a bit flabbergasted at the sheer amount of expensive clothing he’s only seen in magazines before. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When they finally reach a store that Taiga deems good enough and suits his tastes (or lack of tastes), he turns to Hokuto.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, pick an outfit for me,” The way Taiga doesn’t even say please doesn’t even bother Hokuto, he just nods, trying to process it all still. “I need one for my next gig, and you thought my current one wasn’t good enough, so take responsibility.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taiga shoos him away, ushers him on to explore the store while he waits by the changing rooms. It doesn’t take long until he’s completely immersed in the store and what it offers, and it feels like heaven to Hokuto. He barely touches the clothes, too afraid he’ll ruin them with his touch, even if he knows he won’t but it still feels so unreal. It doesn’ stop him from browsing though, he sees enough on display to know what to search for. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He collects a few pieces of clothing before he shuffles back to Taiga, arms full, and he looks over the pile as he approaches the older. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Try these?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taiga accepts it all and disappears into the dressing room, and Hokuto lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He listens to Taiga’s shuffling and rustling for a few good seconds before he catches himself, and damn, that’s not creepy Matsumura Hokuto, not at all. He tiptoes away from the dressing room with red ears and browses some jackets that caught his eyes before. They’re all out of his price range but they’re nice nonetheless, and even if they’ll never hang in his wardrobe at him, he can still marvel over them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s inspecting a large, beige trenchcoat out material more expensive than his rent when Taiga calls his name. When he looks up, he sees Taiga peeking out of the dressing room, motioning for Hokuto to come over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you think?” Taiga asks when he’s close enough and opens the door fully, letting Hokuto take in the sight of Taiga’s whole body dressed in the clothes he picked out for him, and fuck. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out. Taiga is gorgeous, and not just normal gorgeous. He’s breathtakingly gorgeous and he’s at loss for words. All he can do is stare. Watching how Taiga turns, letting him check every part of him that he dressed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t look impressed, it looks bad after all huh?” Taiga looks over his shoulder into the mirror and pouts, and fuck, Hokuto wants to wipe that pout away. “That’s too bad, I kinda liked the jacket.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah— I mean, no, just, no wait,” Hokuto tries to form a complete sentence, still too distracted by Taiga and his astounding beauty. “Fuck.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taiga just looks at him, blinks at him, and seems to not really understand the crisis that Hokuto is going through. Then, it happens.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hokuto looks at Taiga and their eyes meet the moment Taiga breaks into a wave of laughter, and... </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hokuto has never been more in love.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He blushes for the nth time today, not sure where to even hide or what expression he wears but it actually doesn’t matter. Taiga is laughing and it’s the most beautiful sound on earth. In love. It sounds like a farfetched idea but it explains so much. It explains his restless nights recently whenever he’s been thinking about Taiga, it explains the way his heart flutters whenever Taiga is nearby, or whenever they cross paths at the campus. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I take it back, I think I made an impression,” Taiga smirks at him before he closes the door to the dressing room to change back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He kind of likes this Taiga a lot better than the Taiga he sees on campus. He knows he told himself, and Taiga, that he’ll show everyone who Taiga is. He regrets that now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wants to protect this version and keep it all to himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taiga emerges from the dressing room soon enough and brings the whole pile of clothes to the register. He spares one glance at Hokuto before he pays for the whole set, not even bothering to check the price, and Hokuto feels a pang of jealously but it’s soon gone when Taiga offers to buy him dinner. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anything to spend more time with Taiga. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He draws a breath when Taiga exits the store before him and Taiga’s back has never looked that broad before, and he swears he can see wings grow from his back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>One day, he’ll take his hand and teach him how to fly.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. chase it like smoke</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Taiga is becoming a part of Hokuto's life more than he first expected him to, and he doesn't complain.<br/>Now there's dinner, lunches, and study dates. And tension.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I asked on Twitter whether you all wanted this chapter to be split into shorter parts or one massive one, and well, 15/20 voted for a massive chapter... so here it is. About 7k, and I doubled the word count from the last chapter. HOPEFULLY I DON'T WRITE 14K FOR THE NEXT ONE AHHAHAA</p>
<p>Also, there's a small cameo of another story in here too, go ahead and visit <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25815595">@BaneKicksDavid</a> to read that story! ♥<br/>I promise you won't be disappointed!! ♥</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few days after the shopping trip, Hokuto’s not surprised when Taiga waits for him after his last lecture. The blond is restlessly pacing around the hallway, and when he sees Hokuto exit the lecture hall he shines like the sun. It’s actually very subtle, but by now, Hokuto considers himself a Taiga-expert, and it’s the way Taiga’s eyebrows rise, eyes twinkling, and how he skips in his steps when he approaches him that really tells him how happy Taiga really is.</p>
<p>Hokuto doesn’t really know why he’s so happy to see him, but it makes him happy at least.</p>
<p>“Give me your phone,” Taiga says, and holds out his hand, expecting Hokuto to drop his phone into it.</p>
<p>“Okay?”</p>
<p>“Unlocked,” The blond continues, and Hokuto has no idea what he’s planning, but he does whatever Taiga says as they walk through the hallways, and he notices some of their fellow students glance back at them. He doesn’t pay them any attention though but he knows what they might be thinking, especially with Taiga’s rumors still fresh around. Hokuto really doesn’t mind them at all because he knows the truth now but he doesn’t want Taiga to feel any discomfort or get in trouble, so he guides them off to a more secluded area instead.</p>
<p>“Do you never use LINE?” Taiga’s question brings him back to reality, and he blinks at the other, not quite comprehending the question. “Like, you have like two contacts.”</p>
<p>“I’m not a big fan of socializing,” He fidgets a bit as Taiga fiddles with his phone, and he assumes that the other is adding himself on the app, and if he’s being honest, he doesn’t mind that at all. After all, he barely knows how to use the app.</p>
<p>“Well, now you have three contacts”.</p>
<p>Taiga gives him the phone back, and he can’t help but smile a little at the fact Taiga gave him his contact information.</p>
<p>“I was getting a bit tired of meeting up with you after lectures all the time,” Taiga shrugs as he puts his own phone back into his pocket before he glances at Hokuto, who has stopped, slightly shocked at Taiga’s words, smile gone because he thought they were doing good - especially now that Taiga added himself. Was he getting the wrong vibes, or was he just getting ahead of himself or —</p>
<p>“I mean, it’s easier if we can just plan ahead, right? In case we get late or something comes up…”</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p>
<p>Hokuto lets out a small sigh of relief, and he catches up to Taiga with some skipping steps and a new smile appears on his lips.</p>
<p>“You’re right, this is easier. I’m sorry in advance if I reply slowly.”</p>
<p>Taiga simply shrugs it off, the tip of his ears slightly red, and Hokuto can see that the other tries to be tough, and he finds it adorable. He bumps his shoulder as he falls into step with Taiga, and the other bumps it back. They keep bumping shoulders occasionally until they’re off-campus.</p>
<p>“Do you want to grab a bite? My treat?” Taiga asks him as he’s about to stop and tell the other he should head home. The way Taiga stands in front of him, nonchalant, barely dressed to go out for dinner, and his fingers in his pockets obviously fidgeting, make Hokuto scratch all his evening plans. So he says yes.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Taiga, of course, chooses a high-end restaurant, not incredibly fancy with dress codes and all that, but fancy enough for Hokuto to feel like he doesn’t belong there, but Taiga simply walks in, talks to the waitress, and they get escorted over to a private area, fully secluded from others, and it’s the perfect dating spot.</p>
<p>He barely dares to touch the menu they get, afraid he’ll leave sweaty handprints on the paper until Taiga just rolls his eyes at him.</p>
<p>“Jeez, it’s just a piece of paper, Hokuto, just pick whatever you want.”</p>
<p>Hokuto simply narrows his eyes at the other, who seems more interested in watching Hokuto than the menu. He hesitantly turns his focus back on the food they’re offering, trying his best to ignore the small letters of numbers that indicate the price.</p>
<p>He decides his food choices in the end, and Taiga seems to be pleased, and soon enough, the waitress is back to take their order, and Hokuto watches how Taiga effortlessly orders for the both of them, and the way he tucks his hair behind his ear before looking at Hokuto when he’s done makes his heart skip a beat.</p>
<p>He’s so damn fucking attractive it’s not even funny anymore, and Hokuto doesn’t know how to handle these feels without making a fool of himself.</p>
<p>“So, what’s your favorite food?”</p>
<p>The question is sudden and random, and Hokuto can’t believe Taiga is asking him that <em>after</em> dragging him to a random restaurant and just how much more adorable can he get? It’s obviously a conversation starter and a lousy one on top of that, but Hokuto answers him nonetheless, and their conversation turns into a casual 20 questions game until the food arrives.</p>
<p>During the whole dinner, Hokuto feels like he got to know a bit more about Taiga, and it all only made him happier. It only made him want to hang out more with Taiga, see more of his sides, experience things with him, listen to his airy laugh, and watch how his smile makes his eyes crinkle.</p>
<p>“That was fun,” Taiga says as they walk away from the restaurant, stretching his arms above his head, and Hokuto is not sure how Taiga can effortlessly look attractive in anything he does.</p>
<p>“It was,” Hokuto agrees when he glances away from Taiga. “Thank you for the food by the way.”</p>
<p>“No problem, I wanted to have dinner with you so,” The older shrugs as he keeps walking, and Hokuto is so occupied watching Taiga’s side profile in the setting sun that he doesn’t notice that Taiga keeps glancing back at him.</p>
<p>“Hokuto?”</p>
<p>“Yeah? Uhm, sorry?” His staring is interrupted as Taiga pulls him over to the side, pointing at the bulletin board by the entrance of a club. It’s not open yet, but he can see a few people inside preparing for the opening. He follows Taiga’s elegant finger where it points at, and he sees a poster featuring Taiga’s face and name in a small frame on the bottom.</p>
<p>“My next gig,” Taiga points out with a smile on his face, and Hokuto’s not sure who’s more proud of him - him or Taiga. “You should come.”</p>
<p>Hokuto nods at him, twice, thrice, and then so fast he forgets to blink, and Taiga laughs at him, and it’s like a symphony to his ears, and everything is suddenly bright around him.</p>
<p>Taiga skips ahead of him, humming an unknown tune, and Hokuto assumes it’s a new song he’s working on.</p>
<p>“Taiga?” he calls out to get the other’s attention, and Taiga turns around, still smiling like a child on Christmas, and Hokuto almost doesn’t get his words out.</p>
<p>“Come over for dinner at my place on the weekend sometime?”</p>
<p>“Sure, just let me know when,” and he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.</p>
<p>They bid farewell outside the train station, and it’s the weirdest farewell so far between them, or so Hokuto thinks at least. Neither of them seems to be in a hurry to go so they stand in awkward silence for a while and watch the people rush by to catch their trains. It’s strangely relaxing, despite the awkwardness, standing beside each other, shoulder to shoulder, and only exchanging a few words that lead to nothing but more silence.</p>
<p>At one point, Hokuto glances at Taiga the same time he turns his gaze on Hokuto, and their eyes meet, and time seems to stand still. It would be a perfect time to lean in a bit closer, just tilt his head in the right angle, and then let gravity do its work, and they would kiss.</p>
<p>They don’t, and Hokuto is kind of glad because he’s not sure he’s ready for that yet, but he’s definitely not opposing the idea.</p>
<p>It’s when Taiga shivers slightly that Hokuto excuses himself, telling Taiga he needs to catch the next train, and the smile they exchange is nothing but filled with affection for each other.</p>
<p>That night, he types out a short thank you message to Taiga and sends it over LINE.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The next time they see each other for real, and not just brief greetings in the hallways, or quickly shared lunches, is when Hokuto invites Taiga over for lunch during the weekend. It’s been a few days since they last hung out, both of them buried deep in their school work, and Taiga’s gotten more gigs planned too, so he’s been spending a lot of time alone practicing.</p>
<p>So Hokuto thinks they deserve a break, and he remembers how Taiga talked so animatedly and fondly about tomatoes during their dinner which is the reason why half of his fridge is filled with tomatoes. Better more than less, he figures.</p>
<p>He’s in the middle of stirring his Bolognese sauce when his doorbell rings, and he turns down the heat before he shuffles over to the door.</p>
<p>Taiga greets him shyly as he makes his way into Hokuto’s small, slightly rundown apartment, but as a broke student, he can’t afford much more luxury than this, and it makes do.</p>
<p>“Make yourself at home,” he says to the other as he locks the door after him before going back to his kitchen area, turning the heat back up. “It’s soon done.”</p>
<p>He hears how Taiga makes his way around the apartment, curiosity taking over, and Hokuto feels a strange pull on his heart when he looks over his shoulder and sees Taiga inspecting his bookshelf.</p>
<p>It just looks so perfect, and it's a sight he wouldn't mind seeing more often.</p>
<p>"Taiga," he calls softly, voice traveling through the air, and Taiga turns to him with a tilted head. "Come and taste?"</p>
<p>Taiga skips over to him as fast as he dares to not knock anything down accidentally, and when he smells the scent of tomato, basil, and Bolognese, his eyes widen, and he snatches the spoon out of Hokuto's hand faster than Hokuto can tell him he's been using that spoon - but okay, indirect kiss it is.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Taiga says without looking up, already going in for another taste.</p>
<p>“Yes, what?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>Hokuto doesn’t get a coherent answer from the older, only sighing affectionately as he takes the spoon from Taiga before guiding him to the small dinner table he prepared for them. It barely fits two people, but he guesses it’ll be okay.</p>
<p>He glances at Taiga who’s sitting restlessly on the chair, waiting eagerly for the food, and he hurries to put the plates out, dressing them with pasta, and the homemade Bolognese with whole tomatoes in it, topped with some cheese and more basil.</p>
<p>“I can’t believe you’ve made this,” Taiga expresses as he puts the plate down in front of him. “It looks better than anything I’ve ever eaten.”</p>
<p>“Don’t insult your parents now,” Hokuto says as he takes off the apron he’s wearing, and he catches Taiga staring at him with a small flush on his cheeks. “Taiga, it’s spilling.”</p>
<p>Taiga snaps out of it and hurries to bring the spoon to his mouth, mumbling some kind of apology at the same, and he’s probably been overusing the word by now, but he can’t think of anything else, but Taiga is so fucking adorable.</p>
<p>Despite his small crisis, he sits down in front of Taiga and tries his best to eat his food as normal as he can. It’s hard when all he wants to do is to stare at the blond because he’s just looking so good while eating - bright expression, messy lips, cheeks puffed with food, and it doesn’t even bother him with how Taiga is chewing on the food with a hurry.</p>
<p>“There’s more in the pot, you know,” he chuckles as Taiga finishes his plate way before Hokuto, who’s still working his way through half of it. It’s not that he’s a slow eater per se, he just prefers to take it easy, and watch Taiga. “Help yourself.”</p>
<p>And so Taiga does. He goes up to grab another portion of the food, and Hokuto stares at his exposed nape as Taiga’s stirring the pot. The older put his hair into a small ponytail before eating, and it’s definitely a different sight.</p>
<p>He slowly chews on tomato as he observes the way a few strands of hair fall against Taiga’s neck, and he really, really wants to reach out and brush it away, watch up close how Taiga shivers from his touch. Run his hands through Taiga’s hair, mess that ponytail up, detangle the knots it causes, count his eyelashes as he closes his eyes to concentrate on the feeling of Hokuto’s fingers through his hair. He just wants to feel him beneath his fingers, get to know how he’ll react if he started to tug at his hair — would he hiss? Would he gasp? Would he moan? He wants to know so badly, and he knows he’s deep in thought when he doesn’t notice Taiga coming back until their ankles brush against each other beneath the table.</p>
<p>He blinks in confusion, and maybe a little bit of embarrassment before he starts to eat again but then the feeling is back again, and it’s definitely Taiga’s foot brushing against him. He blinks again, glancing at Taiga who’s fully concentrated on his food again, or so he thinks at least until he sees the other smirk knowingly when Hokuto jumps slightly when Taiga’s leg slides between his.</p>
<p>Neither of them says anything about it, they only keep doing their little cat and mouse game with their legs as they start up a conversation about everything and nothing.</p>
<p>“How’s your essay going?” Hokuto asks as he refills their glasses with the alcohol-free wine he got from the store around the corner. “Are you still struggling?”</p>
<p>“It’s… it’s seen better days, if that’s an answer,” Taiga sighs, swirling some leftover pasta around on the plate. “I haven’t been in the mood to study for a while. Been focusing too much on my songs.”</p>
<p>“Isn’t that good too though? Don’t you have a gig coming up? The bigger one you talked about before?” Hokuto tries to keep their conversation going, genuinely interested in Taiga’s gigs actually, not only because he wants to see him on stage again but also because there’s a special shine around Taiga whenever he talks about it or about music in general, and he loves that. He kind of wants to grasp it, put it in a jar of glass, place a lid on it, and keep it on his windowsill to look at every day. It would be lighting up his whole living room if he had that jar.</p>
<p>“You remember?” Taiga looks at him with a slightly shocked expression, not quite believing that Hokuto is keeping track of his gig schedules because no one has ever done that before. At the same time, nobody has been to any of his gigs outside of school except Hokuto either.</p>
<p>Hokuto simply nods in response, getting up to move their dirty plates out of the way. Taiga gets up to help but Hokuto motions for him to sit, not wanting him to do anything, he’s a guest after all. He makes quick work about it all though, deciding to leave most of it in the sink, taking care of it later when Taiga is gone.</p>
<p>He finds Taiga back at the bookshelf when he’s done, and he smiles gently as he walks up to the other, standing behind him as he reaches above him for a book. Taiga’s hair tickles him slightly on the way down, and the faint scent of peach smells so good to him that he almost buries his face in the blond’s hair.</p>
<p>“H-here, this one might help you with your essay,” He swallows before speaking up yet he manages to still stutter, and he curses himself for being so weak. At the same time, he can’t blame himself because it’s Taiga.</p>
<p>“Oh! Let me see,” Taiga takes the book from his hands and turns around at the same time, effectively trapping himself between Hokuto and the bookshelf, and Hokuto’s too occupied staring at the way Taiga skims through the book with curiosity and excitement that he doesn’t realize that they’re so close, oh so close, until Taiga looks up and their noses almost touch.</p>
<p>They stare at each other without saying a word, not even letting out a single breath, and Hokuto doesn’t know if the beating he hears is his own heart or Taiga’s. It could be both of theirs, he doesn’t know, and he doesn’t know for how long they stare at each other like it’s only the two of them in the whole world. It feels like an eternity.</p>
<p>Their trance breaks though when Hokuto’s phone rings, and he snaps out of it quickly to fumble with his phone until he excuses himself to Taiga. He closes his bedroom door silently as he picks it up, not checking the caller ID but he has his suspicions already.</p>
<p>“Yo Matsumura~”</p>
<p>Hokuto sighs inwardly as he hears Kuroki’s voice on the other side, and his suspicions were right. The only people who would call him out of the blue would be either Nao or Kuroki. Such timing.</p>
<p>“What’s up?</p>
<p>“The seniors are hosting a sick party tonight, and I and Nao got invited to the pre-party, want to come?”</p>
<p>He hears the excitement in Kuroki’s voice and he swears he hears Nao in the background already whistling and singing some random pop tunes, and the usual headache he gets with them is slowly coming back.</p>
<p>“I think I have to pass, I gotta help Taiga study,” he grimaces the moment he says it, noticing his own mistake, and he knows that Kuroki will catch up on it. Too late now.</p>
<p>“..Taiga?? As in.. Kyomoto Taiga? <em>That </em>Kyomoto?” Kuroki’s surprised voice and Nao’s yelp in the background means that Kuroki most likely dropped either his cigarette or beer on Nao.</p>
<p>“He’s not that bad, you know,” Hokuto mutters, lowering his voice slightly in case Taiga might overhear him. “Don’t speak ill of him.”</p>
<p>“Dude, why haven’t you told us anything? Wait, is this why you’ve been turning us down the past weeks? To hang out with Kyomoto?”</p>
<p>He wants to say yes because that’s the whole truth really, his afternoons and evenings have been occupied by Taiga any time they both have been free, and Hokuto hasn’t spared his classmates a second thought whenever Taiga was concerned. Call him whipped but he enjoys Taiga’s company so much more than Kuroki and Nao’s.</p>
<p>“Nao, he’s fucking around with Kyomoto - <em>the </em>Kyomoto Taiga, they’re even on first-name basis, man, this is huge,” He hears Kuroki ramble on the other end, and he’s so close to lose it and yell at the other idiot, but he doesn’t want Taiga to notice anything.</p>
<p>“Kuroki, it’s not like that, we’re just friends —” It hurts to say it out loud even, knowing how much he’s lying to himself, and he can feel the anxiousness crawling under his skin, and the way Kuroki doesn’t seem to listen to him doesn’t help at all. “Anyway, I’m not coming tonight, have fun though. Don’t do anything stupid.” <em>Don’t spread any rumors.</em></p>
<p>He hangs up as he hears the hollering laughs from his classmates, and he deeply regrets letting Taiga’s name slip but they’ve been doing so good recently that thinking and talking about Taiga has become his second nature. Even if he mostly talks to himself about Taiga.</p>
<p>His hands are shaking as he drops the phone onto his bed, not sure what he’s going to do about the situation right now. Something is bound to happen, someone is going to talk about them, and while he doesn’t particularly care about himself and what people think about him, he worries about Taiga. Taiga already has enough shit going around on the campus, and he definitely doesn’t need another rumor on top of that, which includes him too.</p>
<p>Maybe he should just warn Taiga, and let him know that there might be something coming up soon.</p>
<p>He lets out a loud sigh as he opens one of his bedside drawers, and pulls out a lighter, and a half-empty package of cigarettes. He doesn’t do it often, it’s one of Kuroki’s old packages he forgot a long time ago but on bad days, he lets the smoke steal them, and whisk them away in the wind.</p>
<p>When he returns to the living room, he finds Taiga curled up on the sofa, glasses on as he’s reading through the book Hokuto recommended, and he just seems to fit perfectly in Hokuto’s living room. Enough that Hokuto wants to ask him to stay right here and right now. Of course, he won’t because that would be weird.</p>
<p>“Do you mind?” he asks, lifting the cancer stick up for Taiga to see, and the older just shrugs before he closes the book and folds his glasses, and gets up to join Hokuto as he moves out on his small balcony.</p>
<p>“Did something happen?” Taiga asks as he’s leaning on the railing on the other side, keeping a fair distance from Hokuto, and he doesn’t blame him at all, he has to protect his throat and vocal cords after all. Hokuto, on the other hand, should probably not do take this smoke break, but it’s either this or dragging Taiga into the bedroom and fuck his brains out. While he would like that, he would rather have it on even terms when Taiga is giving his consent.</p>
<p>He takes a drag, letting the shit travel down his body, collecting all the bad thoughts residing inside him, closing his eyes as he exhales, trying to push out all the negativity that he doesn’t need before he responds to Taiga.</p>
<p>“Kuroki called, I accidentally let your name slip into the conversation, I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“Why are you sorry? What does he have to do with it?” Taiga is obviously confused, and while he hasn’t been talking a lot about his classmates, Taiga already knows about the two of them, has seen them at multiple parties already, and if he’s being honest, he’s not the biggest fan of those two.</p>
<p>“There might be some, uhm, talk going around.. about you,” he doesn’t know why he’s nervous talking about it. Taiga already established that he knows exactly what’s floating around about him, and while Hokuto hasn’t proved to anyone but himself that Taiga is everything but the things people talk about, he still feels it’s awkward to talk about it.</p>
<p>He watches how the ember on the cigarette slowly burns, the faint leftover smoke lingering in the air, and he just wishes his mistakes could disappear like that too.</p>
<p>“Hokuto,” Taiga says but he refuses to look at the older as he speaks, taking another drag of the stick instead, focusing on the way his emotions are running out of control, and trying his best to control them. He doesn’t need to break down in front of Taiga. It’s not even his problem - he’s just worried. So fucking worried. “Look at me.”</p>
<p>He doesn’t. He can’t bring himself to. He feels like he’s failed. That he let Taiga down. He should have been more careful, he shouldn’t have let his name slip into the conversation when he knows how Kuroki is, he shouldn’t have —</p>
<p>“Hokuto,” Taiga repeats, stepping into his personal space, dissolving the smoke around them, and he almost chokes on the inhale he didn’t know he took as Taiga’s eyes narrow before he looks away again. He can’t face Taiga like this. He just can’t—</p>
<p>“Do you want to know how much I care about that?”</p>
<p>Taiga’s words are like daggers, precise, and hitting its mark perfectly, and Hokuto doesn’t know if he wants to or not, but he knows that he’ll hear about it anyway. He just can’t bring himself to reply at the moment, too many emotions running through him, too many thoughts.</p>
<p>“I…” he tries his best to let out any words, any at all, but they’re stuck. All that he can think of is how Taiga will leave him after he hears the rumors that Kuroki and Nao might spread without meaning to. He’s afraid that Taiga might think that he’s just <em>one like everyone else</em>. He’s not, he’s far from that but he can’t tell Taiga that now. Not yet. It wouldn’t have any meaning to it, he thinks, and maybe he’s wrong, maybe he’s right. He just wants his relationship with Taiga to be as pure as it can be before he even thinks about confessing.</p>
<p>Taiga snatches the cigarette from him with ease, and he follows it as Taiga places it between his perfect, elegant fingers before placing it between his lips, and it’s a sight Hokuto never thought he’d see, and if it hadn’t been for all the mixed emotions within him, he would definitely be turned on by it. It feels like he’s watching something illegal, something he shouldn’t be seeing but Taiga inhales the smoke like he’s done it a million times before, and Hokuto sees it all in slow-motion. It doesn’t do anything good to his heart for sure.</p>
<p>Then, Taiga grabs a hold of Hokuto’s shirt, pulling him closer before he exhales the smoke between them, almost straight into Hokuto’s face. He coughs at the sudden smoke, eyes watering slightly due to the closeness, and when he opens his eyes again, he sees Taiga in front of him, disposing of the stick.</p>
<p>“That’s how much I care, Hokuto,” Taiga says in a low voice, pulling him even closer as he utters the words. “Just like the dissolving smoke or the dying embers, I don’t fucking care. So, don’t worry about me.”</p>
<p>All that Hokuto can hear from that is <em>Don’t bother yourself with me, I’m not worth it, let them talk, it’ll be over soon, I’ve heard worse.</em></p>
<p>But he wants to care; he wants to worry. Because Taiga deserves it, and it’s exactly what he’s trying to prove to the other, and the current situation only proves that they still have a long way to go.</p>
<p>It also proves that Taiga is stronger than him in so many ways he can’t begin to explain. He’s so strong yet he’s so fragile.</p>
<p>He almost says he’s sorry but he stops himself before he utters any words because he knows that it’s not what Taiga wants to hear.</p>
<p>“I’m okay now,” he settles with instead, a soft smile appearing on his lips, a genuine one because Taiga cares, and that’s a small win in his book. Taiga lets go of him but doesn’t back away, only looks at him with narrowed eyes in doubt but the way his body relaxes shows that he’s taking Hokuto’s word to heart.</p>
<p>He breathes out, the last piece of his anxious thoughts and negative emotions leaving with it, and he rests his head against Taiga’s shoulder. The other doesn’t seem to mind, and Hokuto is glad, and his heart swells a bit more when Taiga lifts one hand to comb through Hokuto’s hair and pat it in comfort.</p>
<p>
  <em>Yeah, he’s okay now.</em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>They meet up at the library a few days later, Hokuto being slightly nervous for no reason at all because it’s not like they haven’t been together alone before. He’s just nervous since last time they were alone he had a mental breakdown because he was worried about Taiga.</p>
<p>Nothing new really came up, Kuroki and Nao ended up being extremely hungover, and Hokuto didn’t spare them any pity. He didn’t talk to them about Taiga either, and they didn’t mention anything, which he was glad for, and it helped him calm his nerves and focus on the lectures. He did, however, react every time he thought someone was saying Taiga’s name, or if he saw someone blond passing by. Of course, Taiga wasn’t that careless and would give him a surprise visit after seeing Hokuto vulnerable.</p>
<p>He types a short message to Taiga about the spot he takes for their studying, a secluded corner in the Fantasy Literature section, and it doesn’t take long before Taiga comes into his sight. Dressed in his usual attire of a big white shirt that could probably fit two of him (but it’s adorable), dark ¾ pants that make his legs look so attractive, and then a black, wide-brimmed fedora on top of that, and Hokuto thinks he might look like an idol on the run, so he waves awkwardly at the older.</p>
<p>“Let’s get this over with,” Taiga sighs as he throws his bag on the table, and he looks so broken and defeated already that Hokuto almost offers to finish the essay for him.</p>
<p>They sit in silence as Taiga types away on his essay, only speaking up whenever he wants Hokuto’s input on things, which is less than Hokuto would have liked, but it gives him enough time to stare at Taiga in peace.</p>
<p>He’s had a good thinking session back home alone, about him and Taiga, and he’s come to the fact that he’s indeed whipped, and in love. He wakes up thinking about Taiga, goes to sleep thinking about Taiga, even looking into his fridge makes him think about Taiga. As well as the fact that he’s too scared to confess. Another day maybe.</p>
<p>So he stares at him instead and memorizes the little things that the blond does unconsciously - like biting the side of his lower lip when he’s concentrating, scrunching his nose when he gets irritated at something, how he taps his fingers in a certain rhythm when he’s thinking, and how his eyes slightly widen when he focuses on the screen of his laptop when he types away.</p>
<p>It’s such a pure sight that Hokuto can’t fathom how anyone would dare to spread rumors about him. He’s never heard Taiga talk about anyone else whenever they’ve been together, always been asking about Hokuto and his circle of friends (or whatever they are), and if he’s being honest, Hokuto thinks that they might just be each other’s best friends at this point. He wouldn’t mind. Or he would but at the same time not.</p>
<p>He pushes up his own glasses as they start to fall down his nose when he shifts on his chair, and he thinks he might have been stuck on the same page in his book for who knows how long. He blames Taiga for it.</p>
<p>“Hokuto?” Taiga looks up from his laptop, blinking at him, and he snaps out of his staring, quickly switching pages.</p>
<p>“Mhm?”</p>
<p>“What do you think about magic?”</p>
<p>“Magic? Well, it’s an interesting concept, and I do believe it exists to some extent?” It’s a weird question but then he remembers Taiga is supposed to write an essay about Fantasy Literature and how to incorporate musical themes to it, and why certain tunes are associated with the said genre.</p>
<p>“I think it exists, for sure,” Taiga says firmly as he searches through one of his books. “I mean, maybe not in the same sense we’re made to believe magic is, but somehow, there’s something magical in everything.”</p>
<p>“I see,” Hokuto says, not sure how to reply to it because it seems like Taiga has put a lot of thought into it, and he doesn’t want to give him a half-assed answer. If anything, he thinks Taiga is magical, or at least the way Taiga makes him feel whenever they’re around each other.</p>
<p>If Hokuto had to explain what magic is, he would talk about the way the world changes colors without a reason whenever he feels this bubbling warmth inside him when Taiga smiles. He would talk about the way Taiga’s voice sings to him whenever he says his name and laughs, like wind chimes in the summer. He would say it’s pretty magical how the world seems to disappear whenever they look at each other, sharing something only they know of because it’s <em>their</em> thing.</p>
<p>Hokuto would say that Taiga is pretty magical. At least to him.</p>
<p>“Don’t you think the moment people meet is pretty magical?” Taiga puts his head in his hands as he stares at the empty lanes between the bookshelves. “It’s a very fleeting moment but it’s also very crucial. The person you meet could be the one you’ve been waiting for your whole life? Like a fairytale? It’s also intriguing how the moment you lock your eyes with someone the world seems to stop.”</p>
<p>Hokuto listens to Taiga talk about magic and meetings, and he can’t help but think he’s talking about them. His heart pulls on his heartstrings as he listens, and how it speeds up. He wants to ask if it’s about them but he doesn’t dare to, he’s too much of a coward to do that, and what if he’s wrong? Then that would be too embarrassing. He also doesn’t want to come off as too forward.</p>
<p>So he just agrees with a soft smile, and he gets one in return too before Taiga asks him to read over his pages he’s written so far, which he gladly agrees to do.</p>
<p>Taiga moves over a bit to give Hokuto a bit more space beside him when he gets around the table. It’s not a lot of space but Hokuto really doesn’t mind. His thigh is pressed against Taiga’s and it’s a comfortable warmth, and Taiga doesn’t seem to be moving anytime soon either.</p>
<p>As he’s reading through the paper, correcting a few things here and there, all with Taiga’s consent, he feels how Taiga seems to lean more into him than usual, and he thinks he’s imagining things until he feels Taiga’s hair brush against his chin when the older leans forward to correct a sentence. He holds his breath, not sure what to do, or if breathing will break the tension between them. What if he just tilts his head just a bit, and then just let gravity do its thing, and they could meet halfways? What if…</p>
<p>“Why are all your placeholders about chickens?” He asks as he sees another placeholder named ‘<em>chicken wing’</em>, and he’s genuinely curious.</p>
<p>“Oh, that’s just a reference to a book I once read,” Taiga chuckles as he thinks about it before turning to Hokuto with a serious face. “What do you think about chickens?”</p>
<p>“They’re… chickens?”</p>
<p>“Okay, so listen,” and Hokuto has never listened more closely in his whole life to anyone, and Taiga’s voice is so enchanting too as he starts to tell him all about the book. “The book is like this amazing fantasy fiction with magic connected to colors, and there’s this court mage, Nakajima Yuto in it, and he’s kinda amazing you know, and he likes chickens! So that’s where I got it from. Wait, I think they might have the book somewhere around here, let’s take a break and find it!”</p>
<p>Taiga smiles at him as he pulls Hokuto up from the chair by the wrist, and pulls him along the lanes, and for a moment, Hokuto thinks they’ve traveled to another world. The bookshelves seem to go on forever, the sound around them turns silent, and all he can see is the back of Taiga who’s happily dragging him deeper and deeper down the lane, all while humming quietly.</p>
<p>“It should be somewhere here,” Taiga says as he stops at a section, and they start to search for it until Hokuto realizes that the other never mentioned the name of the book.</p>
<p>“What’s the name of it?”</p>
<p>“Oh, sorry, it’s called ‘<em>Like rocks stuck at the side of a stream - Keito’s hard life</em>’,” Taiga supplies as he squats down to check the lower shelves, and Hokuto simply nods as he checks the upper ones.</p>
<p>It’s a silent search, and they get distracted by other interesting titles, sharing hushed giggles as well.</p>
<p>“Ah, here it is,” Hokuto says and reaches up to get the book as Taiga gets up as well, moving into Hokuto’s personal space as he gets excited about seeing the book.</p>
<p>“Let me see!” Taiga almost squeals as he sees the familiar cover of the book, and their fingers brush as he takes the book from Hokuto, and he almost drops it due to it. He scrambles to steady it at the same time as Taiga does it too and their hands fumble together more, creating even more confusion between them.</p>
<p>He hears Taiga let out a small yelp as he loses his balance in the mess that they are in, and Hokuto is quick to catch him by the waist, pulling him up at the same time as he steadies himself against the bookshelf.</p>
<p>Their eyes meet, and Hokuto realizes just how close they are, and how soft Taiga’s waist feels, and how hot Taiga’s breath is on his skin, and he prays to any higher being that Taiga doesn’t hear how loud his heart is beating right now. It reminds him of the time back at his apartment, also against a bookshelf. The tension is the same.</p>
<p>It would be so easy to lean in and kiss him, so easy to. Taiga looks shocked but he doesn’t say anything nor does he move, it’s almost as if he’s waiting for something to happen, and once again, time seems to stand still, and it’s magical indeed how they seem to gravitate toward each other.</p>
<p>He imagines what it would be like if he did it. If he stopped being a coward and leaned in to claim Taiga’s lips as his own. They look so soft, and he thinks they would be, and he would be addicted to them once he starts. He imagines the way Taiga would sound if he kissed him, would he let out soft gasps in-between their kisses, would he whine for more contact, would he moan? The possibilities are endless, and Hokuto is so damn tempted to throw all his common sense aside and follow his instincts, even his body is getting uncomfortable in areas he thinks are inappropriate for a library.</p>
<p>Then again, they wouldn’t be staying long in the library if Hokuto went through with his daydreams because he would want to ravish Taiga and make sure that he can claim all of him.</p>
<p>He can almost count the number of eyelashes on Taiga’s eyes, and it seems like his eyes grow bigger and bigger, almost as if he’s coming closer, almost as if they’re going to—</p>
<p>Someone drops a book in the distance, and it’s all it takes to break the tension between them, Hokuto awkwardly clearing his throat as he backs away as casually as he can, hand still resting on Taiga’s waist.</p>
<p>“You okay?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m fine, thank you,” Taiga replies with a small voice, and Hokuto sees the slight change of color on the blond’s cheeks, and he hopes that his face isn’t burning, even if he knows that the tips of his ears are.</p>
<p>That was close, too close.</p>
<p>Taiga leans into his touch on his waist as he steadies himself before reaching out to Hokuto, who almost flinches as Taiga adjusts his glasses.</p>
<p>“There, they were a bit tilted.”</p>
<p>He brushes a few strands of hair away from Hokuto’s face as well, and the touch is so gentle that Hokuto almost regrets the way his thoughts ran away earlier. The taller male swallows before he stutters a small thanks, not wanting to quite let go of Taiga yet. He even tightens his hold on Taiga as the blond brushes his fingers over Hokuto’s face.</p>
<p>“You have so many moles,” Taiga whispers, voice light and airy, and Hokuto draws a breath, memorizing the way Taiga speaks to him. “They’re beautiful.”</p>
<p>Then, Taiga brushes his thumb over his mole residing by his upper lip, and all Hokuto can think of is how he wants Taiga to kiss him, and each and every one of his moles. Place himself on white sheets, bare and exposed for Taiga’s eyes only, and watch him slowly kiss his moles, soft and tenderly, taking his time on each of them. Make him shiver from the touches, make him crave more, and more until he’s covered in more than just moles until he’s begging for Taiga to kiss him.</p>
<p>He almost says it out loud when Taiga draws back.</p>
<p>“Sorry, I didn’t mean to, I got distracted,” Taiga’s flushed face is adorable, just like the rest of him, and Hokuto hurries to assure him that everything is fine.</p>
<p>“No, it’s fine, I don’t mind, I mean, it’s okay, I really don’t...mind it,” he says with a small voice, trying to hint at the fact that he’s more than okay with Taiga touching him, or even kissing him.</p>
<p>He swears he sees Taiga lean in, and he's about to do the same when a voice from the speakers announces the closing time, causing them to jump apart for real this time.</p>
<p>They walk back in silence to gather their things, the book they searched for already forgotten. Hokuto notices the way Taiga is loitering around, and he suspects the older is slightly nervous, or anxious.</p>
<p>On their way out of the library, Hokuto reaches out to Taiga and ruffles his hair through the hat, earning a slight glare (without any venom in it), and a pout.</p>
<p>“We’re fine, right?” he asks, letting his hand rest on Taiga’s head as he waits for the other to reply.</p>
<p>“Of course,” Taiga smiles at him, and while it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, Hokuto figures it’s okay. As long as Taiga doesn’t hate him, anything else will do.</p>
<p>They bid farewell outside the train station, and as usual, Hokuto watches how Taiga disappears among the crowd of people but as always, he can immediately find the other.</p>
<p>The magic from before hasn’t disappeared, he’s still as enchanted as ever by Taiga, and today only proved it even further. If magic existed, he wishes for it to wrest away his cowardice.</p>
<p>He looks up into the sky as he walks home, where he can keep thinking about where today could have gone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>just kiss him gdi hokuto<br/>when will anyone of you grow a pair of balls</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. sing it like you mean it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Their simple karaoke "date" takes an unexpected, or expected, turn.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I planned a long update but I know myself, and I'm heading to visit my mom during the weekend and that means barely any time for idols or anything creative at all, so I will be drained. Probably for another week after it too... so it's why I decided to push out at least this little thing ahaha ;;</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With their essays done, and their preparations for exams also out of their way, Hokuto crawls into his bed properly for the first time in a while. It’s barely 6 p.m. but it feels like night time already or at least his brain is telling him that. The sheets feel heavenly around him and the softness of the mattress hugs him just right, almost to the point where he falls asleep when his phone rings. He lazily turns in his bed, the blankets wrapping around him even more and his glasses tilts off his nose as he checks the caller ID.</p>
<p>“Taiga?”</p>
<p>“Are you busy?” Taiga’s small voice sings through the phone, and Hokuto silently wonders what’s up because they never call. They always text each other.</p>
<p>“No, I just got home, why?” he sits up, the sheets rustling around him and he adjusts his glasses, slightly alarmed something might be wrong.</p>
<p>“Ah, you might be tired then,” Taiga’s voice draws back and Hokuto can hear how he’s trying to decide whether he should go on or give up.</p>
<p>“No, it’s okay, really. Taiga, what’s up?” he thinks his own voice might falter a bit as he speaks but he’s genuinely worried that there’s something wrong.</p>
<p>“I just wanted to ask if you want to sing with me,” Taiga mumbles, and Hokuto almost doesn’t catch it at first but the moment he does, his heart swells with feelings he can’t explain. Singing with Taiga? How? When? Why? That would be an absolutely amazing experience considering the level of skill the blond man possesses, and Hokuto draws a breath. He’s not even sure he’s worthy to do that.</p>
<p>He almost misses when Taiga speaks up again, in an even lower voice, and that does it for Hokuto.</p>
<p>“And we haven’t seen each other in a while…”</p>
<p>“Yes,” he breathes out as fast as he can, probably sounding more desperate than intended but he really, really wants to. The days without Taiga lately have been empty and boring, and their sparse messages to each other between studying and exams haven’t been enough to soothe Hokuto’s longing heart. “Yes, I mean, let’s meet up tonight. Where?”</p>
<p>He can almost see how Taiga lights up at his answer as his voice sound remarkably brighter and airier when he tells Hokuto when and where to meet him.</p>
<p>When they hang up, he’s more awake than he’s ever been. It doesn’t take him long to crawl out of bed with a stupid smile on his face and head into the shower.</p>
<p>As he showers, he tries his best not to think about Taiga. It’s hard to not let his thoughts stray off its path, and he scrubs his hair a bit rougher than usual. There’s no time for that kind of thinking right now Matsumura Hokuto. Save those thoughts for the days when you’re extra lonely and pitiable.</p>
<p>If he’s honest to himself, he might spend more time picking out outfits than he’d like to admit but at the same time, he really wants to look good when he meets with Taiga. Maybe it’s stupid when Taiga has seen him at his worst during their most intense study week ever, where he probably just took whatever he found was clean. Even so, he wants to prove to Taiga that he can indeed look good enough to stand beside him — unless he dresses in that horrendous white T-shirt again. The only time he’ll allow the white T-shirt again is if it’s his shirt on Taiga, and — no Hokuto, don’t go there.</p>
<p>He throws on a big, light blue knitted sweater, and a pair of beige pants to go with it, and curls his hair, paying too much attention to the flyaway strands before he leaves with his black coat hanging off his arm. The air outside is getting colder by each day, and he finds himself putting on the coat soon, even if he knows that it’s going to be too hot when he’s on the train. His glasses fog up as he breathes in some hot air into his hands as he didn’t bother to put in lenses - it’s only Taiga after all. At the same time, he worries if he’s coming off as too casual. Maybe he should have put in lenses after all.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>When he arrives at the place they’re meeting at, Taiga is already waiting there, thankfully not dressed like a disaster, and despite seeing him countless of times in a half-updo, his heart still skips a beat, and he desperately wants to run his hands through Taiga’s hair.</p>
<p>“Sorry to call you out all of a sudden,” Taiga apologizes with a small smile, and Hokuto quickly shakes his head, black locks of hair flying everywhere.</p>
<p>“No, it’s okay, really. I didn’t realize it’s been so long since I last saw you.”</p>
<p>Taiga’s face turns into an interesting shade as he agrees, the small smile still dancing on his lips, and Hokuto thinks that there’s not any star in the whole sky that could compare to Taiga. If he could spend every day with Taiga, he really wouldn’t complain.</p>
<p>“Come on, let’s go!” Taiga pulls on his sleeve and tugs him along the street toward a karaoke place, and Hokuto raises his eyebrows at the location. <em>So that’s what he meant by sing with me…</em></p>
<p>He can’t refuse the other or even say anything as Taiga pulls him along with the brightest smile he’s seen on him in a while. It’s been a while since Taiga has had a gig too, last time being at some local party that Hokuto definitely didn’t want (or had time to) go to, and he knows that the other has been restless lately about it too. There’s his big gig coming up but with their exams and all coming and going, it’s been hard to push in gigs too.</p>
<p>“It’s more fun to sing with someone than alone,” Taiga says as he opens the door to their little private booth, already humming on someone song that Hokuto doesn’t recognize. “Aaah, I’ve missed the air of this place!”</p>
<p>Hokuto closes the door after them, watching Taiga already scrolling through the songs, probably already knowing which song to sing, and true to that, Taiga soon has a song lined up.</p>
<p>He waves excitingly at Hokuto to come and sit and choose a song, obviously in his element now, and to Hokuto, it’s the best scenery ever. It’s refreshing to see Taiga shine in more colors than he can name, and he just loses it when Taiga sings the first note.</p>
<p>There’s no one else but them, and Hokuto is blessed to be sitting beside Taiga as he sings his heart out, and he can’t help but just stare as he mindlessly claps along. Taiga is ethereal. His heart swells once again, and he kind of wants to voice it out loud how Taiga makes him feel but he knows it’s not the time nor the place for that.</p>
<p>So, he watches Taiga use his whole body as he sings - his face contorting in various expressions, some he’s only seen on stage, some new, and it’s overwhelming how Taiga can produce them along with his flawless execution of vocals too. His hands moving along with the rhythm and lyrics, animated motions, and emphasis at the right places, and Hokuto believes with his whole heart that Taiga was born to sing and perform.</p>
<p>It sends shivers down his body as Taiga holds a long note longer than the usual, and the intense expression left on his face as he ends it makes him want to stop time and observe it forever. His whole body reacts to the way Taiga performs, and it was definitely not a mistake to go out like this.</p>
<p>He doesn’t even notice that the song is over until Taiga sits down beside him, skin glistening with the slight sweat he worked up, and he absolutely sparkles in Hokuto’s eyes to the point he doesn’t know what to say and Taiga’s mouth moves but he can’t hear a word. <em>Shit, Taiga’s lips. </em></p>
<p>“Hokuto? Your song?” Taiga pinches the skin on the top of his hand, bringing him back to reality (which is not far from a dream really), and he clears his throat.</p>
<p>“Yeah, right, sorry,” he scrambles to put in the song he usually sings, an emotional power-ballad that probably no one listens to but it resonates with his soul and kind of wants to impress Taiga somehow. He’s far from good, at least not compared to Taiga but he thinks he does this song quite okay.</p>
<p>So, he sings it like he usually does, maybe puts in a little bit of effort because Taiga is watching and listening. When he glances to the side as the instrumental break hits, he sees Taiga wide-eyed and starstruck, and it throws him off for a moment, and he almost backs away.</p>
<p>Taiga is faster though, grabbing at him, pulling him down to sit, and crawls closer to Hokuto on the couch, almost making him drop the mic as Taiga gets into his personal space, and he gets brief flashbacks to how close they were in the library - and damn, he doesn’t need to be reminded of that now because his body is definitely feeling more than just the heat in the room.</p>
<p>“Hokuto,” Taiga breathes over the music and Hokuto’s brain short circuits because it’s so low and desperate, and he’s never heard Taiga say his name like that, and his late-night imaginations don’t even compare to the real deal. “Why didn’t you tell me you could sing?”</p>
<p>Taiga looks at him with such intense stare that he can’t form a proper reply, too mesmerized by the blond’s dark eyes.</p>
<p>“I... Uhm…”</p>
<p>“You can’t just, argh, drop secrets like this without a warning?” Taiga says in frustration, bending his head down, gripping a bit harder on Hokuto’s clothes that he hasn’t noticed the older was doing. “Like, what the hell Hokuto, that’s not fair.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry?” he sits up into a more comfortable position, pulling Taiga closer to him in the process, and he hears his heartbeat echo louder over the music, and he feels how Taiga grasps closer around his sleeve.</p>
<p>“Just, fuck, Hokuto, you sound <em>amazing,</em>” the other breathes, and Hokuto can feel it through his whole body. It travels down his spine, into his legs, and it takes all of his willpower to not automatically jerk his body and pull Taiga into a tight embrace. Maybe even kiss him. Taiga looks up at him again, and those round eyes sparkle with a new shine, one similar to the one he saw in the library, and he clenches his fist against the couch in an attempt to calm himself. “That was just, hell, I can’t explain it, it’s just… You’re… Hokuto, I can’t even form words, <em>your voice</em>. I want that on stage with me. Sing <em>with me.</em>”</p>
<p>The way Taiga talks about him and his voice, in particular, makes him almost tear up because no one else has ever talked about him like that - at loss for words, pure want for more, and genuine interest. He knows he’s nothing special, he’s a nobody but Taiga, someone who’s aiming for the stars, is here praising him and wants him to sing with him. The entertainment world is not for him, he knows that but he can’t help but think about all the other ways he could be by Taiga’s side, and then sing with him. He might not be able to stand on stage with Taiga like the older wants to but he's definitely willing to stand on another kind of stage with him.</p>
<p>It's kind of the highest compliment he can get from Taiga that is not a confession.</p>
<p>There's no telling who moves first but they gravitate towards each other — Taiga crawling higher up, almost straddling him, for a more comfortable position, Hokuto's arm sneaking around Taiga's waist to steady him. It's like a clockwork, and they move flawlessly without breaking eye contact, gravitating toward each other.</p>
<p>He doesn’t know who does it first, and he simply doesn’t care if he’s being honest, but the moment he feels the soft pressure of Taiga’s lips on his own, all decency and common sense be damned. It’s anything but fireworks blooming in the sky, and more like a weight being lifted off his shoulders, and it’s over before he can even feel it. So, he does the natural thing - he chases Taiga’s lips before they get too far away.</p>
<p>The feeling when he captures Taiga’s lips in another, equally soft kiss, is more intense than before, and he’s definitely feeling the butterflies in his stomach start to fly. It lasts longer than before, and he doesn’t realize he’s closed his eyes before he misses the feeling of Taiga again. Once more, they engage in a pull-and-pull game, exchanging fluttering kisses along with the beating music in the background, and Hokuto can’t think of anything more liberating than this.</p>
<p>Kissing Taiga is intoxicating, addicting, and provocating at the same, and it doesn’t help when they somehow pull each other closer - Taiga’s hands traveling up Hokuto’s arms and into his hair, messing up his curls with gentle tugs, and Hokuto’s hands rest on Taiga’s hip and lower back, steadying him as he literally straddles him now. They should definitely not be doing this here but he doesn’t care, he’s finally tasting Taiga, and it’s all he can focus on.</p>
<p>He doesn’t care that he should have waited for a better moment, maybe talked to Taiga about it before, maybe told him properly of his feelings — but right now, all of that doesn’t matter. What matters is that Taiga is in his lap, kissing him as he does in his dream, only a thousand times better.</p>
<p>Whoever that licks their tongue over the other’s lips should get awarded because they change of intensity sends shudders down his whole body, hands gripping harder on Taiga, and he swears he feels the beginning of a low moan from the other but he’s not sure, it could be from himself too. They soon lack air but it’s a small issue when all they want is to continue to kiss the other, feel the other, and just bask in the burning sensation that is their emotional and physical outlet. Heads tilting for better access, better angles, and the small pulls from Taiga on his hair only heighten his desire for more.</p>
<p>He’s about chase Taiga’s mouth again, one hand going up to cup his face when the music suddenly dies out, announcing the end of the song, and he barely gets his hand on Taiga. They both blink, staring at each other like they both got caught redhanded in the cookie jar, and Hokuto’s sure that his own face is looking the same as Taiga’s flustered one right now. Even if he’s not sure if it’s out of embarrassment or arousal. He just knows that it’s definitely a mix for himself, and he hopes that Taiga doesn’t feel it from where he’s sitting so dangerously close to his crotch.</p>
<p>His vision is still a bit hazy and rose-colored, and mind is definitely muddled because he can’t form any coherent words but he feels the antsiness from Taiga already, and he knows he got to say something. Anything. Don’t fucking it up.</p>
<p>“Uhm, don’t worry about it?” he wants to hit himself for saying the worst thing ever, and it comes out more nonchalant than he wants it to be, so he hopes that Taiga understands him. He really hopes because he doesn’t want this to be some kind of misunderstanding. He just wants Taiga to know it’s all fine, that he wanted it too if he wanted it, that it’s not some mistake. That they both feel the same about it because Hokuto wants it to be true. He really wants them to be real, almost to the point that he blurts it out loud.</p>
<p>The last thing he wants is for Taiga to think that he jumped on the opportunity to make out with him because he’s after his body — like the whole campus seems to believe by now. The brief panic that surges through him due to Taiga’s silence and wide-eyed stare makes him believe that it’s all going to be over. Taiga won’t talk to him anymore, especially not about his.</p>
<p>“Yeah, okay,” it sounds impassive but Hokuto knows better, the previous panic disappearing as Taiga’s face is still flushed, and he hasn’t moved an inch away from Hokuto. It makes him believe that they’re fine. At least for now.</p>
<p>There’s a thick silence between them for what feels like forever, and it’s by silent mutual understanding that they decide not to talk about it. Hokuto feels it’s okay but at the same time, he wants to talk about it but he gets the feeling that Taiga doesn’t want to. So, he’ll leave it as it is.</p>
<p>Taiga doesn’t say a thing to him, only packing his things up, and they both shuffle out of the booth and out of the building. The singing can wait for another day. Another day when they have their feelings under control.</p>
<p>It’s only when they’re outside, on their way to the nearest station that Taiga speaks up, breaking their awkward silence.</p>
<p>“Thank you for coming tonight…”</p>
<p>Then, he sneaks his hand into Hokuto’s, and the way Hokuto’s heart swells, and worries dissolve, it all doesn't compare to the immense love he feels for Taiga. Their fingers thread together, perfectly fitting against each other, and Hokuto thinks that it’s going to be okay.</p>
<p>Maybe they don’t have to talk about it after all.</p>
<p>Because he believes everything will be back to normal, only slightly different from normal though, as he refuses to let go of Taiga’s hand at the station. He wants them to stay connected a bit longer, even if it’s just a second, just a little bit longer. It’s not until Taiga leans in and gives him a chaste kiss goodbye that he lets Taiga go, only to watch him disappear into the train.</p>
<p>Maybe they’re going to be fine.</p>
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